Dr. Tiffany Ofili Porter

As a 35 year old woman who has worn the hat of student-athlete, pharmacist, Olympian entrepreneur, mom, and wife, I have been through several life transitions along the way. With each shift comes useful lessons and a greater ease of approaching these transitions.

Our family is adapting to our new normal of having two children, and in addition to being forced to slow down, the sleep deprivation has been the most challenging part so far. The snuggles make up for the sleepless nights, but it can still be tough at times.

These are the five truths I keep reminding myself of during this transition, and they have been tremendously helpful:

1. The difficult moments are temporary

Having a “this too shall pass” mentality will help when you’re going through those rough moments. Whether you remind yourself of this in the middle of a difficult workout, or while your newborn is waking up every 3 hours in the middle of the night to nurse, knowing that it’s only a matter of time before you’re on the other side can be encouraging.

The Bible says: “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it (Hebrews 12:11).” No matter how big or small a goal is, remain steadfast in your pursuit and trust that the challenging moments don’t last always. Although I may be working on successfully getting through the challenging newborn phase, and you may be working on a tough project for work, we share one thing in common: each phase is temporary.

2. It will get easier with time

In life, the more you do something, the more skilled you become at completing it. Although the actual task may not change, with consistency and discipline, you’ll learn coping mechanisms that can be game changing. For example, as a new pharmacist fresh out of school knowing how to juggle the workload may take time, but eventually with experience, you will create systems to make you efficient.

With this shift, usually comes confidence in knowing that you’re getting better each day, and this confidence can trickle down to other aspects of your life as well. As I’m becoming a better colleague at work by seeing the hard work pay off, I can apply these same principles to my life at home as a wife or mother.

Even though the assignment, workout, or project didn’t change, your growth and improvement will make it appear easier. This can build the momentum to continue elevate your mindset in your approach to any hard obstacle you may face.

3. It’s more than ok to ask for & recieve help

In a culture that once praised the “do it all” mentality, I’m happy there has been a recent push for the “soft life”.

There is no badge of honor in running yourself to the ground trying to complete everything alone when there is help that’s willing & available. Obviously there will be situations when you must do something alone, but a lot of times with proper planning & research, you can delegate tasks to free up the burden on you. I am aware that sometimes relationship status, finances, or other factors may prohibit someone from fully offloading stress, but sometimes simply asking for help can be the missing link.

This goes back to the importance of building community and being open to trusting others to help, even if their method is slightly different from yours. I’ve learned to relinquish the desire to do it all on my own, and be open to receiving help when it’s offered.

And I’ve been better for it.

4. Give yourself credit & a pat on the back

When I was competing, I was always the “on to the next one” athlete and although letting go can be beneficial to your longevity in sport, it is also important to take a moment and applaud how far you’ve come. You can appreciate the journey & growth while still acknowledging that you still have a ways to go.

I’ve found the periodic checks ins accompanied by mini celebrations of the progress to be incredibly encouraging along the way.

For example, I gained nearly 60 pounds during my pregnancy with my son, and I have a goal to ultimately lose the weight.

I knew that the weight wouldn’t fall off overnight, so while I’m giving myself grace without the added pressure of a self imposed timeline, I am celebrating the small progress daily, even if it’s only one pound. Eventually that one pound will turn into five and before you know it, you’re celebrating being over half way to your goal (which is where I am currently).

There is an art to finding joy in the journey.

5. It will all be worth it in the end

The saying “nothing worthwhile comes easy” is one I constantly remind myself of when I’m in the middle of a difficult time or a period of transition. Life has shown me that hard work, sacrifice, and discipline will almost always yield fruit, even with seemingly mundane tasks.

Maintaining a positive spin on things can also help keep it all in perspective.

For instance:

If I’m sleep deprived and waking up every two to three hours to feed my newborn, it means the Lord answered my prayers for a second child.

If I’m struggling to find the hours in a day to complete my to-do list, it may mean I’m in a season where I need to slow down and truly prioritize what’s important.

If I’m feeling discouraged that I struggled to do 10 push ups (this literally happened yesterday), I shift my perspective to appreciate just how remarkable it was that I was a professional athlete for so many years. It also made me shift to gratitude that my body successfully carried and birthed two kids. If my journey back to peak fitness takes time, so be it.

Regardless of what it looks like for you, reminding yourself that the work will be worth it in the end, will be so much easier if you maintain a positive outlook on the journey.

These tips are applicable to any new season you’re facing, whether it’s motherhood, a new track season, a new job, a new relationship, or wherever you may find yourself. When life’s inevitable transition periods come, I hope we all feel encouraged and better equipped to approach them with confidence!


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