With Father’s Day 2024 quickly approaching, I’ve been reflecting on fatherhood, particularly that of my college sweetheart and husband Jeff.
Witnessing his transformation into a father has been one of the most profound experiences of my life, and it’s made my love and appreciation of him explode. His fatherhood journey is marked by love, growth, and countless moments that have deepened our bond in ways I never imagined.
So whether you’re a parent, patent to be, or anything in between, here’s a bit about Jeff’s journey to fatherhood, as well as some lessons we can all take away from it.
The Anticipation
The journey began long before our first born Chidera arrived. Back on the campus of the University of Michigan, we used to talk about what our life as parents together would look like, so the anticipation began as early as 2005.
Flash forward to 2017 when we started trying to conceive, things weren’t as straightforward as we would’ve liked, but finally after months of loss, we got that much desired positive pregnancy test.
From the moment we discovered we were expecting, a subtle shift started to happen with Jeff. My husband’s eyes would light up whenever we talked about the baby, and he took on a new level of responsibility.
He read books, attended prenatal classes, and even started to pick up on the finer details of preparing our home for our little one. Watching him embrace these changes with enthusiasm and care made me fall in love with him all over again.
A key lesson here is that even if your journey looks vastly different from how you envisioned, know that more often than not, things work out in the end, and you arrive on the other side stronger, wiser & better.
The Big Day
The day our sweet rainbow baby Chidera was born was filled with emotions—excitement, anxiety, and an overwhelming sense of love. I saw a different side of my husband in the delivery room, and his usual calm and collected demeanor took on an edge of nervous excitement.
Being able to experience the birth of our first child together is a moment forever etched in my heart and one I will never forget.
Sure I was an emotional mess when I held my daughter in my arms for the first time, but when Jeff held Chi for the first time, his face softened in a way I had never seen before. There was an instant, unspoken bond between them, and it has set the foundation for a very close and special daddy/daughter relationship 4 years later. In that moment, he wasn’t just my husband; he was now a father.
And it is a title that he takes very seriously.
Then, flash forward to May of 2023 when our son Jidenna Jeffrey was born, and I saw that same spark in his eyes all over again. He had the son he had been praying for, and it felt surreal to see the physical embodiment of what you longed for for so long.
Lesson here is to really savor those important life changing moments because they’re what make life worthwhile and fulfilling.
Navigating Parenthood
As most new parents can attest to, the first few weeks with a new baby were a whirlwind. Sleepless nights, endless diaper changes, and figuring out our new normal was challenging but Jeff stepped up in ways that surprised and comforted me.
As I was navigating the adjustment to new motherhood and the infamous fourth trimester, Jeff was patient, hands-on, and incredibly supportive. Both the first time when we had to figure it out with Chi, and the second time when we had to manuver parenting two kids simultaneously, Jeff became the rock our family needed, and for that I’m grateful.
Lesson here is that it’s one skill to be an amazing husband, and another skill to be an amazing dad, but to be both simultaneously is truly a superpower. Let’s all endeavor to celebrate and clap for those amazing men out there who are taking of business and taking care of home.
Moments of Joy and Growth
Just as our babies have grown over the months, so has our roles as parents. The process of rearing children is far from easy, but it is rewarding to be able to celebrate your children’s moments big and small with the person you love doing life with.
Each milestone—first smile, first words, first steps—was a shared joy and my husband’s playful nature shone through during these times.
He spends hours making our children laugh, building towers of blocks, and reading bedtime stories. These moments, filled with laughter and tenderness, are treasures that have strengthened our family bond.
A lesson I’ve learned from our growth as parents is that the small milestones create lasting memories that not only create your kids’ childhoods, but also your core memories of parenthood. So be intentional about creating positive moments every chance you get.
Reflecting on the Journey
Looking back, the journey from husband to father has been one of continuous growth. It has brought out qualities in my husband that I deeply admire—his patience, his unwavering support, and his boundless love for our children. Jeff’s fatherhood journey has also brought us closer together, reinforcing our partnership and love in the face of the beautiful chaos of parenthood.
Seeing my husband as a father has been a gift. It has added new dimensions to our relationship and has filled our home with a deeper sense of love and purpose. The transformation has been beautiful to witness, and I look forward to the many adventures that lie ahead as we continue to navigate this incredible journey together.
So with that, Happy Father’s Day to Jeff and all the other amazing dads out there taking care of business for their families.
We love you, and we honor you.
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Dr. Tiffany Ofili Porter 