My husband and I have values that align and very high on that list is our appreciation for family. Back in college we used to talk about the life we wanted to build, and now we finally have the privilege to pour into the little family we created.
Our daughter Chidera recently turned four and a half, and we celebrated her half birthday for the second year in a row.
This was a very fun and simple way for us to mark the blessing that it is to see another year while ensuring that she feels honored.
Now that we’ve made a family tradition out of something so simple yet meaningful for our daughter, it caused me to pause and reflect on the journey of creating family traditions.
Here are six steps to help you establish family traditions:
1. Identify Values
Considering your family’s values and shared interests is a great place to start. What may be an important core tenant of our family structure, may not align with the values of another family so it’s key to identify what that is truly important for you.
For example, in our house, our faith is important, so we created a family tradion of attending Mass together every Sunday, and we’ve added in donuts afterwards as a reward for our children behaving well during service.
Identifying what values are an important to your family is the first step in establishing traditions because it will serve as the framework in which you build upon.
2. Involve Everyone
Once you identify those shared values, you should then get input from family members to ensure inclusivity. You can do this by involving family members in brainstorming ideas to identify what resonates with them.
In our case, I let Chidera choose how she wanted to celebrate her four and a half birthday, and I was pleased when she settled on a Chinese buffet and strawberry ice cream. By us, including her in the decision-making process, she was empowered, which helped her to buy into the new family tradition we’ve created. And I was able to enjoy some delicious shrimp fried rice at the same time; it was a win-win.
3. Start Small
Begin with simple, achievable traditions. exploring activities like game nights, themed dinners, weekend outings, or crafting sessions. The family traditions mustn’t be grand for them to be meaningful. In fact, sometimes the more simple a tradition is, the more impatful it can be, especially when children are involved.
Keep things simple, and once you’re able to conquer the smaller activities, you can push yourself to have more grand family traditions.
4. Remain Consistent
Regularly engage in the chosen activity to build a tradition. The key is to create meaningful and enjoyable experiences that can be repeated over time and then remain committed to actually implementing them regularly.
Although our son’s 6-month celebration was a bit overshadowed by my hall of honor induction back in November, moving forward, a celebration of half birthdays is something we plan on doing regularly with both kids.
In case you haven’t read about my University of Michigan Hall of Honor Induction, you can read about it here:
5. Be Flexible
Allow traditions to evolve as your family grows and changes, and based on their preferences and dynamics. As with most things in life (especially when children are involved), having the power to be adaptable is a game changer.
For example, before kids, Jeff and I routinely went on weekly date nights, and now, after having kids, they’ve shifted to family date nights. And we are OK with that. Although we do make time for solo date nights when we can, they’re not as frequent, and thanks to flexibility, we don’t stress about that.
6. Document
Capture memories through photos, videos, or journals to cherish later. It may seem like a frivolous act, but having these moments captured not only honors them in the present, but it honors them for years to come as you’re able to pass them down through generations.
There have been several times when I look at photos from a past family trip and it brings a smile to my face. If you work documenting moments into your daily routine, it will be easy to do so for those times you’re trying to create new family traditions.
Establishing family traditions fosters a sense of belonging and stability, while simultaneously strengthening family bonds. It also provides a framework for shared values, creates lasting memories, and contributes to a positive family culture.
In 2024, let’s make a promise to cherish core memories and create lasting traditions that will ultimately bring us joy.
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Dr. Tiffany Ofili Porter 