Dr. Tiffany Ofili Porter

Never let anyone rush the chapters in YOUR story.

I’ve been shown time & time again that God’s timing is best, and even if people have opinions on your timeline, that’s none of your concern.

In a world that constantly bombards us with success stories, highlight reels, and milestones achieved by others, it’s easy to feel like we’re falling behind.

Whether it’s career advancements, relationships, financial stability, or personal growth, the temptation to compare our journey to someone else’s can be overwhelming. But here’s the truth: your timeline is uniquely yours, and it deserves to be honored and appreciated.

Why Comparison Steals Joy

Social media, societal expectations, and even our own inner doubts can make us feel like we’re “late” in life. Seeing a friend get their dream job, a sibling buy a house, or a classmate get married can trigger feelings of inadequacy. But comparison is a trap—it makes us focus on what we lack rather than what we have.

As someone who got married young (23 & 25 for my husband) and didn’t end up having our first child until 31 and 33, many people had opinions on why we waited so long to have children.

Sure, we were both actively pursuing our professional track careers and made the sacrifice to consciously hold off on expanding our family until the time was right. But because this is an approach that many others wouldn’t have taken, we sometimes felt the weight of comparison to our friends who were having children at what society deemed as the “appropriate time.” Thankfully, Jeff and I stayed the course, trusted in God’s plan for us, and now, after having fulfilling track careers and two beautiful children, we have zero regrets of our timeline.

We’re not even going to talk about the whispers of me being “barren” or the miscarriages that occurred along this journey cause we’d be here forever. Just know that we stayed the course, kept the faith, and watched God WORK!

The reality is that no two people have the same starting point, the same challenges, or the same goals. Just because someone reaches a milestone before you doesn’t mean you’re failing; it simply means your path is unfolding differently. Believe that and trust that your story is beautiful in its own right.

Your Journey, Your Pace

Imagine life as a road trip. Some people take the highway, racing to their destination. Others take scenic routes, stopping to explore different experiences along the way. Some may even take detours that lead to unexpected but beautiful places. And that’s okay. Even if a goal takes you double the time to reach than your peers, knowing that God’s Will for your life is perfect and His timing is far better than yours should give you comfort.

Instead of rushing, embrace the journey at your own pace:
• Celebrate small wins – Progress is progress, no matter how slow.
• Trust the timing of your life – Just because it hasn’t happened yet doesn’t mean it won’t.
• Redefine success – What does fulfillment mean to you beyond society’s definitions?

How to Shift Your Mindset:

• Practice gratitude

Focus on what you have accomplished rather than what you haven’t.

I’ve found that pulling encouragement from past times when God has shown up in my life and answered prayers is very helpful when I feel sad or discouraged.

• Limit comparison triggers

Take breaks from social media or curate your feed to include inspiration rather than pressure. This one is key. If constantly consuming the content of others makes you feel inadequate or behind, then limit your consumption & find other hobbies that uplift you. We must protect our peace at all costs.

• Set personal goals

Define success based on your values, not someone else’s timeline. Sometimes, we get so caught up in the idea of something based on what life is “supposed” to look like that it can prevent us from truly examining what it is that our heart desires. For example, from childhood, my parents told me I was going to be a “doctor” because I was smart, loved science, and was capable. As I got older and examined what I wanted out of life and what would bring me happiness, I quickly realized that being a physician wasn’t what I wanted so I became a pharmacist, and haven’t looked back since.

Just because someone wants something for you doesn’t necessarily mean it’s in alignment with what you want for yourself.

• Surround yourself with positive influences

Be around people who encourage and uplift your journey. I believe that we are the company we keep, and if you find that your friends are negatively impacting your mental health for whatever reason, then it’s time to get new friends. Period.

In the same way we’re meant to make a positive impact on the people we spend time with, it’s important that our circle does the same for us. This goes back to us protecting our peace.

So, any time you may feel frustrated or discouraged, please remember that you are not behind. You are exactly where you need to be. Life isn’t a competition; it’s a personal adventure. Trust your timing, embrace your own path, and remember—some of the best things in life take time to unfold.

Your journey is beautiful.
Your pace is perfect.
Your timeline deserves respect.
Your story should be honored.
Your testimony will be EPIC.

Keep going, and keep shining. We’ve got this!

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